Hello Victoria

Hey there you,

    I’m not terribly good at this. I tend to be all of the awkward and all of the bad ideas and all of the emotionality. But I’m about 1000 miles away (936 really) and temporally 5 months away . And I figure that’s far enough away to do damage control. 
All that being said, I think you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. You’re smart, funny, talented, and honest. I like you an awful lot. 
So that leaves you with a couple of choices. You could ignore it and I’ll just disappear until september and I’ll pretend nothing ever happened. We could bs around it and let it die. Or you could agree to let me take you out for coffee in September. 
Is my timing shitty? yeah. Did I just put you into a really awkward place that could very possibly ruin our friendship? Oh definitely. Am I going to regret this email the second after I send it? No. 
I’ve had this rumbling around my brain for months. And then I realized I had no idea how you felt, and I was just running in circles chasing my own tail. 
So give this a think over. And send me an answer. Or not I guess. 
terribly awkwardly yours,
Hi Andrew,

I care about you deeply and your well being and happiness mean the
world to me. But it is as a friend. I think you’re so incredibly brave
for writing this email and telling me how you feel. There’s no reason
to ignore this or bs around it. It happened and that’s ok. For God’s
sake I’m still friends with Phil and look at all the strange back and
forth we’ve had over the past three years. So if you’re still
interested in being friends I would absolutely love that. But I also
completely, truly understand if when you come back in the fall you
need to keep some distance between us. Whatever is better for you. I’m
sorry this is how I feel. I have been on the receiving end of this
conversation so many times and I know that no matter what I say, in
this movement, what I say is going to hurt you. And I am so incredibly
sorry about that. But you are my friend and I’d rather tell you the
truth than hurt you more by lying or avoiding this conversation.

Take all the time you need thinking or responding to this, if you even
want to respond. I still want to hear from you and know what’s going
on with you but you can let me know if you’re ready and ok to just be
friends. And when you come back in the fall I would be happy t get
coffee with you as a friend.

Your friend,


     You are a boss. Yeah, I’m disappointed. But honestly, not incredibly surprised. That being said, your email was exactly what I needed to hear. It was direct, honest, and completely compassionate. I was entirely prepared to never hear from you , never be able to make eye contact, and just have a really awkward time. But you answered, gave it a lot of thought, and told the truth. I really respect that. 
     Space is one thing I need nothing of right now. I’m starved for NU contact and information. Besides, your life is and probably will always be entertaining. And more than that, I do and will always care for you. You still are an incredibly cool person, if not one whose path intersects with my own. And I am ok with that. There are more than a few people (men and women) that fit that description in my life. You’re in good company, some of my absolute best friends in the world started off as secret (and sometimes not so secret) crushes. 
     We were friends before I liked you, and we’ll stay friends after that feeling has faded, if you’re also into that. I know I definitely am.

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